Letting go of pain, anger, jealousy, frustration, or whatever other unsavory emotions that one may have towards a person or situation can be tough. The ego is not a fan of letting things slide.
But wounds can run deeper than just egoic reactions. Somebody may have hurt you quite deeply, whether it be physical, emotionally, sexually, or otherwise. These wounds can take longer to heal, and that’s okay.
These are all things that suck, but they don’t have to ruin your day. Letting these little things roll off our back can be tough, but with some practice, it is entirely possible, and beneficial to your overall well-being.
While it certainly can be tough to let go of someone, or let go of the past, or avoid an altercation when triggered, it is possible.
Rest assured that you are completely capable of letting shit go, and you really should give it a shot- for your own wellbeing.
Studies done surrounding the topic of forgiveness and letting go have repeatedly shown the benefits of letting go, and the risks of not.
A study done at the Department of Psychology and Social Behavior at the University of California in Irvine, CA followed 1155 participants nationwide. Participants were questioned about their daily stressors and affect for 8 consecutive days. Studies showed that people tended to harbor a higher level of negativity the day after a stressor occurs. Almost 10 years later, the participants answered questions related to their physical health. Lingering negative vibes corresponded with a greater number of chronic conditions and deteriorating functional limitations, just 10 short years later. This study suggests that emotional resiliency and the ability to chill out when facing daily stressors have unique importance for long-term physical health.
Dr. Swartz goes on to supply the following tips on Learning to Forgive
“Forgiveness training is a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and relaxation techniques, but the goal is the same: Identify the problem, give it time and get objective input. That input doesn’t have to come from a mental health professional. It could come from a close friend or a religious adviser.
• Identify what the problems are.
• Work on relaxation techniques.
• Challenge your own responses.
• Change your thoughts from negative to positive.”
A publication titled- Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness from mayoclinic.org discusses letting go at length. One helpful highlight addresses what happens if you find yourself struggling to forgive someone:
There are many more studies out there like this one, you don’t have to look very far at all on Google.
The ill-effects of carrying around bad vibes and sprinkling negativity all over the place don’t sound like much fun at all.
Do you know what does sound like fun?
Letting shit go and simply enjoying life.
Free your soul, because harboring negativity will not solve anything.
Life happens, shit happens, people come and go.
In the grand scheme of things, most of what is bothering you won’t really matter one day.
Don’t let it tear you down.
If you notice negative feelings surfacing- Pause. Take a deep breath, observe these feelings, be with them for a moment, take notice where they may be coming from, and then LET THAT SHIT GO.